Dating Schedule - I'm back! :D

"A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky. The woman already knows."
~ Monica Piper

Hey guys! Wow it's a been a long time since I updated this thing. And I must say, in this time I've been changing a lot. People have been changing me. The way I look at things, and how much more I appreciate life.

Two of these people are my outstand boyfriend, Sam and my amazing best friend, Meghan. Remember that list of rules that I made? A lot of them I look over now and seeing at how far Sam and I have gotten in the relationship, I've been mentally erasing these rules. So I'll probably be updating them soon.

And now here comes the revelation. Most of the startings of this blog was made after the horrible dating period with an ex of mine I can't stand now. It was a few months after the break up and... well... wasn't really in high hopes of setting my standards sky high. Now, my standards are chillin' in heaven with a glass of cherly temple on the side. I found out that even if you are over weight, even if you are pretty on the inside but not on the out, you can still have incredibly hot men by your side! As long as your personality shines through, your confidence levels are out the roof, and you hold yourself with dignity and morals, you will be satisfied. No, this is not a parent "hope" lecture. No, I'm not high out of my mind. I am down to earth tellin' the truth. When you meet the right person. You know. That special someone will give you no doubts, will shut off your hormones to everything else but him/her, and you wouldn't dream of letting him/her go for the world. It's an incredible feeling, a feeling of safety and promise. Stability would probably be the best word to describe it, actually.

However, even with this stability there is still boundaries. Your special someone is never just open to you sexually, that would make them a hoe. There is still a boundary checkline to make. So, here's the main course of this blog entry.

For teenagers alike, sex is a big deal. Your V-card can only be lost one time to one person and should not be dealed lightly. For me, the ideal time is to lose it around when you're graduating high school or in college, but of course, only half wait that long. So here's the boundary check line of morals. Now this does not contract you or your special someone to said line, however, it is the boundary I see as right. Which, seeing of how much Sam has changed my mind on things, this could be changing too for all we know.

So here's the rules clean and simple. You can prolong the step for ever long you want, however, if you shorten the length between steps... ehhh it's your decision. But either way here it is:


1st Date - No kiss. No touch. Just a hang out.

2nd Date - First kiss is alright as long as it's not a make out session.

3rd Date+ - It is okay to explore the kissing. Making out later on, seeing what you like.. and by the time you hit one month, you should be pretty comfortable with your special someone's lips.

1 Month - The touchy feely. This doesn't mean second base 'grab the boob' touchy feely. This means hand exploring when making out, getting a little more 'hungry' with kisses, sliding hands around, pulling hair, etc. Anything to make it more enjoyable for the other person with out it being sexual just yet.

oOo

Now for the complicated stuff that is very flexible with what you like:

oOo



2-3 Month - Out-of-pant hand job. Your hand stays out of the pants, but still does the job. Remember, this step and the rest can be prolonged for ever long you or your partner want. And moving on must be within you and your partner's comfort zones.

3-4 Month - Inside-pant hand job/oral. I classify hand jobs and blow jobs in the same category, even if one is counted as oral and one is not. I myself am not a huge fan of putting my mouth anywhere near where people do their business from, but that's just me. I'm going to go ahead and remind you: MAKE SURE THIS IS IN YOU AND YOUR PARTNER'S COMFORT ZONES. If you don't feel right about this in timing, tell them. And if they're a good partner, then they will wait.

4-6 Month - Fingering. This is completely the guy's part. The woman's already given her part, now it's time for the guys to show their dedication to her. After all, a relationship is not a one way street. It's an "I'll do something for you if you do something for me" street.

6-7+ Month - Now it's the big league. By now you should be comfortable with your partner's body enough to give yours to them. I think it's obvious you should be completely prepared for it and protected. Incidents happen, and if you're going to take that huge step, you need to know that without the proper care and respect, slip ups can occur. I have a friend of mine that unfortunately didn't take the right precautions and is now fathering a baby at the age of 16.

1 Year - By now your V-card is history, and you should be comfortable with your partner's body. Whether you decided to continue on the sex life or just test the waters that one time and try again later, it is up to you. By now, the sky is the limit and experimentation is really the only thing  left to do. Find out what you like. Find out what your partner likes. And look forward to the following year.

As I said numerous times, this is a very flexible schedule. You can prolong the schedule how many months or even years you like and are comfortable with. Or in some cases, if you feel really connected to your partner, then you can shorten the time frame between said events.

It's all about the comfort zone.

Dating Advice - FOR THE GUYS

Everyone says that looks don't matter, age doesn't matter, money doesn't matter. But i never met a girl yet who has fallen in love with an old ugly man who's broke.~ Rodney Dangerfield 

Alright, guys, I'm going to be completely honest with you. It's your job to sweep a lady off her feet. To make her feel safe in your arms and want to be around you no matter what. And trust me... dating is not a free deal. If you're going to have serious dates with a girl you care about, you're going to have to pay for them. Girls do not spend one dime on anything on the date. That is the rule and that's how it's been since the first guy put his sausage in our doughnut. Plus, if you don't, then you aren't going to get any women. Men provide. That's it.

I once dated a guy that was filthy rich. You'd walk in his house and the first thing you'd see on his wall was this 50'' plazma-screen tv... and yet he made me pay for not only my ticket, but HIS as well on our only date.

Broke up with him a week later.

My point is, if you're going to date... get a job. If you have one, don't spend all of your money on yourself!! And if you don't have any money and can't get a job, don't take them on dates that involve money. "But Vixen, how is that even possible in the 21st Century?" I'll tell ya' how, buddy, think with whatever romance you've aquired over your life time and then multiply that ten times.

Here are a few ideas of some money-free dates that are still VERY romantic.

1. A picnic on a grassy hill in summer. And I mean the classic basket with a cloth in it and little sandwiches and chips and a few drinks all situated nicely. Take the time to make it look nice for the girl!!
2. A hike through the nearest woods. If the parents will allow the girl going for a hike with you, then don't hesitate them to show your gruff mountain man side. Most chicks dig the smell of pine trees, why do you think we put artifical ones in our cars?
3. Chilling at home. Have a movie night, or just play games. As long as you get the girl laughing all the time, she won't care!
4. Bike ride around town. You don't always have to buy stuff when you go downtown, but hanging at the park or simply just biking around is fun enough.
5. Taking her to places that are free like the zoo or the park. Maybe even an outdoor movie that a friend is hosting or set up your own! You know how much chicks dig cars, so a nice car set up in the back yard with a projector playing against the house. Best. Date. Evar.
6. 80's dates. Big killer with the ladies, boys. Not kidding, I would give anything for a guy to simply throw a pebble at my window, car pulled up on the street, and a boombox on his shoulder playing romantic country songs. You wanna show romance? Follow what your parents or your grandparents did!
7. A walk in the park. Winter is really the best time to go take a walk in the park as long as you both are dressed appropriately. Then the date could range from sledding to snow ball fights. All sexy, and all romantic.
8. Drive her out to the country. Now, don't do this in a way where it looks like you're a serial killer about to murder the poor girl!! But simply drive into a country park where you can park under a tree late in the day. Then the both of you can lay on the hood of your car and stare at the clouds. Cloud watching is never too cliche!

And now we get to the money. I'll share the least pricey dates and move to the more expensive dates.

$5-10:

1. Getting ice cream. Going to a simple ice cream parlor, like, in my town we have the custard station. You can never go wrong with sweets and who doesn't love a little flirtatious dab of ice cream on the nose?
2. Ice Skating. Depending on where you are, it usually only costs 3-5 dollars a person. Which should be enough for you and your special lady.
3. Date like a hipster! Take her to a cafe and buy coffee for her. It's a good, calm mood usually and you can always get great conversation when in that type of environment.
4. Buy a rose!! Then you can take her on a free date as well or any of the other dates. But a rose is adorable, flowers in general! Sure, they can be cheesy, but I'll let you in on a little secret: girls like cheesy. Chocolates aren't a bad choice either!
5. An outdoor movie. They usually don't cost as much as regular movies, yet they're about ten times more romantic.

$20-50:

1. A movie. It's the classic date for a teenager. You don't have to worry about awkward silence cause you don't have anything to talk about! And when you do, the movie is the topic! Plus, if you two are ready for a good make out session, perfect time! Though... try not to get kicked out ;)
2. A nice dinner at a resturaunt. Pubs are great places cause we love meat and burgers just as much as boys do generally. Though... don't ever go to McDonalds... they'll think you're a cheap ass. Oh, and don't ever go to apple bees either, trust me... it will end badly.
3. Paintball, Lazer guns, and other activities. This isn't for all girls, but for the ones I know, they would die for a date that rides the deffinition of "awesome".
4. Public Attractions such as for here, the Botanical Gardens, Grant's Farm or City Museum. Parks with different activies are great fun too!
5. The pool. We all know you boys love seeing us walking around in a two piece with our curves hangin' out. But we also love seeing what's under that shirt without it being sexual. So boys, if you're going to do this... tone it up so we've got something nice to gawk at ;)
6. Tourist attractions. Though it's odd with a family atmosphere around, it's also very comfortable, and comfort is the priority for dates.

$60-120:

1. Amusement parks are a hit! If you can pay for the chick, then they will, first of all, feel guilty. But don't buy that shit!! They are actually very impressed that you have the devotion to pay for expensive dates. Plus, I know that in my town, Six Flags' Dragon Wing is a great way to have the girl cling for dear life on you!
2. Fancy, elegant resturaunts. All though most of you guys hate dressing up, girls enjoy it. It gives them self confidence in how beautiful they look, and plus, we all know you love seeing us all dolled up.
3. Prom. If there's a prom coming up, it's same as #2, girls like dressing up! Simple as that! But this one is super important that you pay for the prom ticket, cause honestly, if you're going to entirely pay for any date, it would be this one.
4. GoKarts and other racing places. They're usually pretty expensive because they're rare, but we always have fun crashing into your car.
5. Concerts with either a band or a singer. Try to go to one that you both like. Not just her's or your's cause that's no fun!
6. Fairs and Carnivals. Nothing screams adorable than making sure your cart is the one at the top of the ferris wheel at sunset so you can kiss that special someone! Plus... we love our cotton candy and funnel cake! And you can win prizes for the girl!

So there's my ideas of an awesome date! Girls, I encorouge you to message me if you have any more ideas to add to this list. And guys... well... 'nuff said.

Now here are the things that you should never do on a date, boys. And I'm being dead serious on this!! Not only will you lose the girl, but you'll lose respect from your female fans too!

1. Don't EVER let the girl pay. No matter how much you can't afford the prices, it doesn't matter, it's not a date if the girl pays and it'll just piss her off. This is the number one rule.
2. Don't kiss the girl on the first date. And don't stick your tongue down their throat on your first kiss. If you're an aggressive kisser *coughcough*someone I know *coughcough*, then slowly ease her into it one moment to the next. Not all girls like tongue... in fact... most I know are repulsed by the idea of tongue on the first kiss. And they probably will enjoy it after a while.. but it's baby steps if they don't. And you gotta understand that.
3. If you shouldn't give a kiss on the first, then you shouldn't go any farther than a kiss either. Don't try, or you'll end up being castrated by any vixens in the area ;)
4. Boobs. We love ours. You love ours. We all know you do. But we don't enjoy groping unless we're ready for sexual contact. You grope us, it's the equivalent of us groping your balls. It's not a fun idea to us.
5. We love items. Jewelry you can never go wrong with, but seriously... don't ever be cheap about it. We don't think it's funny or cute and we usually have second thoughts about dating you. The cheaper you are (non-thoughtful, un-romantic, and ignorant), the more we will distance ourselves from you.
6. When you're on your date... SPEND TIME with your date!!! Too many times I see an unexperienced guy refusing to hold the girls hand when on a date or simply disregarding her to go do something more fun. Sure, it may be more fun for you, but the girl is left behind asking herself what she did wrong.
7. Double dates I gotta say are better than one-on-one dates. Esspecially if you know the person who's the same gender as you. So you have the comfortable environment of being with your friends, yet you can be flirty and cutesy with your special someone! Plus, there isn't any awkward silence if you can't think of any conversation material.

And that's all the advice I can give you today I think! Lol, again girls, don't be afraid to message me for any more ideas, I'm all ears! :)

A Kiss for a Kiss

Kissing may not spread germs, but they certainly lower resistance.

Louise Erickson

So, I've read some forums lately, some rather mainstream while others that make me ponder. It was... an interesting concept. And a very common one, might I add.

Alright, let's face it, ladies, two attractive men kissing is very nice to look at. And also for the men, two attractive ladies kissing is also nice to look at. But here's the question that we shall be pondering in this post: for them? Girls are just as attracted to two guys kissing as two girls kissing to guys is, it's a natural thing. Maybe because it's a taboo to normal society, and I will admit, I am one of the several women who believe two attractive men kissing is hot!

Now, while I've been looking around the internet, I've noticed something that amuses me. I don't know where it started, but some girl, somewhere, made a sign saying "Will do Yurri for Yaoi". This translates to.. "will kiss a girl to see two guys kiss". Now, most girls have the pretty normal reaction of cringing, as guys do to the theory. But would you pay the price for a prize of kissing? "If my boyfriend kissed another man, they'd deffinitely get laid that night", said an Anonymous friend of mine. It wasn't surprising to me that the girls around her started hooting in agreement. But would kissing another man be a sufficiant payment to getting something from the girl later? Many girls think that this is true, that two men would kiss for the girls, if two girls would kiss for the men.

So I did a little test.

Asking each one of my guy friends, some with girlfriends, some not, I asked them "Would you kiss another guy to see two girls kiss?" And here's the funny thing. I gave the same pole just with different roles to my girl friends. Each of them said "Maybe" to a "yes". Yet... the reply from our boys... every single one of them said "no". Not a maybe, not a probably not, just a dead no.

Why is it that girls would kiss eachother for the men, yet the men would never dare touch another man unless he was completely gay? Because you kiss a member of the same sex, does that mean your gay or homosexual? Of course not! A girl can love everything about a man both mental, emotional, and physical, yet still kiss a girl. So here is my conclusion. We don't kiss each other when we're straight because we're seceretly bi or lesbians. It's because we are more comfortable with the idea of sharing a kiss with a gender that has always been close to us. We see girls hanging off of their friends all the time in school, kissing eachother on the cheeks, and having "marriages" with eachother. Does that mean that they are gay? No, because most of the girls who act the most lesbian are actually much more attracted to men physically.

And now we turn our focus to the boys. If us girls would perform for you, why wouldn't you perform for us? "There's a section of the brain that separates the right from the left, or logic from emotion. In females (of ALL species), this organ is 32% thicker than in males. Therefore, females can easily connect logic with emotion (or communication with emotion).

Logic = communication

Emotion = Action

Because this connection is more fluent within females then males, there's an unspoken assurance that other females understand that they are a certain "orientation," and kissing another girl would make no difference. However, with males, this connection isn't physically so easy. There's still an insecurity of what their fellow males would think of them. So therefore, they wouldn't do it because they're mainly using their Emotion/Action side, without their "common sense" connecting to the situation. This brain thing is also why girls seem more mature than boys during puberty, and why they start and end puberty before boys. ALSO this is where the stereotype "men are stupid" comes from." -- Alex Bess. Now this of course doesn't group all guys in the same genre, cause some actually would "perform" for the girls. But from what I've gathered, most of them have too high of either dignity, or simple-minded nature to ever come close to another guy's face. If you're not gay. You shouldn't act like such apparently.

I guess that's what seperates us from the male gender.

P.S.

On a side note, I have never kissed a girl ;)

Beauty Inside and Out

In Hollywood, the women are all peaches. It makes one long for an apple occasionally.

W. SOMERSET MAUGHAM, Gene Shalit's Great Hollywood Wit

So many girls I see now a days are so worried about how they look, act, and who they are, that they spend so much time and money on things that they don't need. Sure, maybe you don't look like that girl in the magazine, and sure, maybe this talk is a bit main-stream. But here's the cold hard truth that girls actually want to hear instead of the old "your perfect the way you are" deal.

Yes. Men are attracted to a pretty face. I, myself, can't date a man that didn't catch my eye at a first glance. Well, it's a same way around. And maybe the girls with baby faces and perfect hair do have an easier time picking up men then a girl who's overweight and zit-faced, but if you know how to work with what your got, then you can have as good of a boy friend as any of the preps! If I may borrow a quote from Julia Roberts: "Men don't care what women look like naked"... odd quote isn't it? Yet so true! They're so bundled up in the excitement that they have a woman that's willing to get naked right before them, that they don't care if you're tubby, or have a few pimples. By that time, hopefully that man is attracted to who you are inside AND out.

I know, I know, "But Vixen! You just said that attraction is a major thing in picking up guys!" And it is! If you can't play the role of the temptress, use your words, your curves, and those beautiful lips all us girls were blessed with! If you can't get a guy to give you a second glance, then move your ass up to them and start a conversation! Flirting isn't rocket science, girls! It's a tool that has been pondered with since the first organism grew a vagina.

The point is, whether your beautiful physically, or not, it's just a different way to go about things to get what you want.

Get zit cream, you fix the zits.

Join a sport, you fix your weight.

Go shopping, have a friend to swoon over you.

Do anything to build your self-confidence, cause that's the sexiest thing to a guy. It's more sexy to a guy than Meghan Fox or Taylor Swift, or any other celeb that's taped to a guy's bedroom wall is. Cause no matter how unappealing you are physically, you can be outrageously gorgeous mentally.

So girls.. put down the overly-applied eyeliner, stop the horrible thoughts about your own body, and start learning how to work the voice box! So what if you don't look like a chick in the magazine? So what if you can't swing your hips? So what if you don't have curves, or soft skin, or the nicest clothes???

The only thing that's shit out of luck unattractive, is low self-esteem. Cause you're your own biggest critique.

It's a Hard Life After All....

A woman cannot be herself in the society of the present day, which is an exclusively masculine society, with laws framed by men and with a judicial system that judges feminine conduct from a masculine point of view.

--HENRIK IBSEN, From Ibsen's Workshop

What is the first thing that comes to mind when a young woman calls herself a "Vixen"? Sad to say, most--high percent being women themselves--think they mean they are "sluts" or "prostitutes". Maybe they think the young woman is interested with standing out in the crowd in a sexual fashion. But does that mean that these women who claims themselves to be "Vixens" are to fill the mold that's been cast by normal society? 

Us teenage girls get a bad rap. We try to explore the world, see what fits, and what doesn't. What we like, and what we don't. Some of us enjoy covering up so much that only our face and hands show, but others, such as myself, take pride in what we were born with, and wear short-shorts, tank tops, and shirts with cleavage. Does that mean I want to hang off of a stripper pole? Despite the accusations that some adults--and even my own peers sometimes--make, I do not. In fact, like most girls, I hold dignity with high regard. Adults want to know the reason why we dress like this. It's not to get attention, it's not to "rebel" against our parents, it's not to get laid. We dress like this because we are proud that we were born with beauty. Each and every one of us. We are proud that men take second glances towards us, that our curves genuinely define who we are. The surprised look on a man's face who just made a remark to a girl wearing shorts with fish-net leggings and hanging out with her friends, then finding out she's more intelligent than the man himself. That is what amuses us. 

So let's go back to the main question: What is a "Vixen"? A vixen is...

NOT: a stage name for a stripper

NOT: a woman who thinks sex is the only appeal they have.

NOT: a "whore"

NOT: a "slut"

NOT: a gold digger

Vixens are the group of women classified by "normal" society as all of the things I listed above... and yet what they don't know is that these women are not any of the above things. Vixens are the girls that hang off each other, laughing, and not caring if they get appalled looks. They don't care if they kiss their friends on the cheeks, boys or girls, because they believe everyone to be equal. They hold dignity highly, yet are not afraid to speak about the usual personal things in life. Whether this is advice on sex, masturbation, or dating, they are glad to help a person who is frowned upon by most for asking. They take the rights of women to the highest regards, but don't frown on those who take a dark route. We respect who we are, how we were born, and what we can do. 

And in the eyes of a society framed by men..

Women hold the true power.

My name is Vixen. I am what my name suggests. It's time for us to get a voice, and scream to the collared black-and-whites of today, that just because we don't fill your mold of how women should act, it doesn't mean that we are prostitutes. We're not stereotypical librarians, or up-tight nannies... we are who we are. And we help who ever needs it. If the normal society can't see this. 

Then I'm glad to be an outcast. :)