"A man on a date wonders if he'll get lucky. The woman already knows."Hey guys! Wow it's a been a long time since I updated this thing. And I must say, in this time I've been changing a lot. People have been changing me. The way I look at things, and how much more I appreciate life.
~ Monica Piper
Two of these people are my outstand boyfriend, Sam and my amazing best friend, Meghan. Remember that list of rules that I made? A lot of them I look over now and seeing at how far Sam and I have gotten in the relationship, I've been mentally erasing these rules. So I'll probably be updating them soon.
And now here comes the revelation. Most of the startings of this blog was made after the horrible dating period with an ex of mine I can't stand now. It was a few months after the break up and... well... wasn't really in high hopes of setting my standards sky high. Now, my standards are chillin' in heaven with a glass of cherly temple on the side. I found out that even if you are over weight, even if you are pretty on the inside but not on the out, you can still have incredibly hot men by your side! As long as your personality shines through, your confidence levels are out the roof, and you hold yourself with dignity and morals, you will be satisfied. No, this is not a parent "hope" lecture. No, I'm not high out of my mind. I am down to earth tellin' the truth. When you meet the right person. You know. That special someone will give you no doubts, will shut off your hormones to everything else but him/her, and you wouldn't dream of letting him/her go for the world. It's an incredible feeling, a feeling of safety and promise. Stability would probably be the best word to describe it, actually.
However, even with this stability there is still boundaries. Your special someone is never just open to you sexually, that would make them a hoe. There is still a boundary checkline to make. So, here's the main course of this blog entry.
For teenagers alike, sex is a big deal. Your V-card can only be lost one time to one person and should not be dealed lightly. For me, the ideal time is to lose it around when you're graduating high school or in college, but of course, only half wait that long. So here's the boundary check line of morals. Now this does not contract you or your special someone to said line, however, it is the boundary I see as right. Which, seeing of how much Sam has changed my mind on things, this could be changing too for all we know.
So here's the rules clean and simple. You can prolong the step for ever long you want, however, if you shorten the length between steps... ehhh it's your decision. But either way here it is:
1st Date - No kiss. No touch. Just a hang out.
2nd Date - First kiss is alright as long as it's not a make out session.
3rd Date+ - It is okay to explore the kissing. Making out later on, seeing what you like.. and by the time you hit one month, you should be pretty comfortable with your special someone's lips.
1 Month - The touchy feely. This doesn't mean second base 'grab the boob' touchy feely. This means hand exploring when making out, getting a little more 'hungry' with kisses, sliding hands around, pulling hair, etc. Anything to make it more enjoyable for the other person with out it being sexual just yet.
oOo
Now for the complicated stuff that is very flexible with what you like:
oOo
2-3 Month - Out-of-pant hand job. Your hand stays out of the pants, but still does the job. Remember, this step and the rest can be prolonged for ever long you or your partner want. And moving on must be within you and your partner's comfort zones. 3-4 Month - Inside-pant hand job/oral. I classify hand jobs and blow jobs in the same category, even if one is counted as oral and one is not. I myself am not a huge fan of putting my mouth anywhere near where people do their business from, but that's just me. I'm going to go ahead and remind you: MAKE SURE THIS IS IN YOU AND YOUR PARTNER'S COMFORT ZONES. If you don't feel right about this in timing, tell them. And if they're a good partner, then they will wait.
4-6 Month - Fingering. This is completely the guy's part. The woman's already given her part, now it's time for the guys to show their dedication to her. After all, a relationship is not a one way street. It's an "I'll do something for you if you do something for me" street.
6-7+ Month - Now it's the big league. By now you should be comfortable with your partner's body enough to give yours to them. I think it's obvious you should be completely prepared for it and protected. Incidents happen, and if you're going to take that huge step, you need to know that without the proper care and respect, slip ups can occur. I have a friend of mine that unfortunately didn't take the right precautions and is now fathering a baby at the age of 16.
1 Year - By now your V-card is history, and you should be comfortable with your partner's body. Whether you decided to continue on the sex life or just test the waters that one time and try again later, it is up to you. By now, the sky is the limit and experimentation is really the only thing left to do. Find out what you like. Find out what your partner likes. And look forward to the following year.
As I said numerous times, this is a very flexible schedule. You can prolong the schedule how many months or even years you like and are comfortable with. Or in some cases, if you feel really connected to your partner, then you can shorten the time frame between said events.
It's all about the comfort zone.
