Dating Advice - FOR THE GUYS

Everyone says that looks don't matter, age doesn't matter, money doesn't matter. But i never met a girl yet who has fallen in love with an old ugly man who's broke.~ Rodney Dangerfield 

Alright, guys, I'm going to be completely honest with you. It's your job to sweep a lady off her feet. To make her feel safe in your arms and want to be around you no matter what. And trust me... dating is not a free deal. If you're going to have serious dates with a girl you care about, you're going to have to pay for them. Girls do not spend one dime on anything on the date. That is the rule and that's how it's been since the first guy put his sausage in our doughnut. Plus, if you don't, then you aren't going to get any women. Men provide. That's it.

I once dated a guy that was filthy rich. You'd walk in his house and the first thing you'd see on his wall was this 50'' plazma-screen tv... and yet he made me pay for not only my ticket, but HIS as well on our only date.

Broke up with him a week later.

My point is, if you're going to date... get a job. If you have one, don't spend all of your money on yourself!! And if you don't have any money and can't get a job, don't take them on dates that involve money. "But Vixen, how is that even possible in the 21st Century?" I'll tell ya' how, buddy, think with whatever romance you've aquired over your life time and then multiply that ten times.

Here are a few ideas of some money-free dates that are still VERY romantic.

1. A picnic on a grassy hill in summer. And I mean the classic basket with a cloth in it and little sandwiches and chips and a few drinks all situated nicely. Take the time to make it look nice for the girl!!
2. A hike through the nearest woods. If the parents will allow the girl going for a hike with you, then don't hesitate them to show your gruff mountain man side. Most chicks dig the smell of pine trees, why do you think we put artifical ones in our cars?
3. Chilling at home. Have a movie night, or just play games. As long as you get the girl laughing all the time, she won't care!
4. Bike ride around town. You don't always have to buy stuff when you go downtown, but hanging at the park or simply just biking around is fun enough.
5. Taking her to places that are free like the zoo or the park. Maybe even an outdoor movie that a friend is hosting or set up your own! You know how much chicks dig cars, so a nice car set up in the back yard with a projector playing against the house. Best. Date. Evar.
6. 80's dates. Big killer with the ladies, boys. Not kidding, I would give anything for a guy to simply throw a pebble at my window, car pulled up on the street, and a boombox on his shoulder playing romantic country songs. You wanna show romance? Follow what your parents or your grandparents did!
7. A walk in the park. Winter is really the best time to go take a walk in the park as long as you both are dressed appropriately. Then the date could range from sledding to snow ball fights. All sexy, and all romantic.
8. Drive her out to the country. Now, don't do this in a way where it looks like you're a serial killer about to murder the poor girl!! But simply drive into a country park where you can park under a tree late in the day. Then the both of you can lay on the hood of your car and stare at the clouds. Cloud watching is never too cliche!

And now we get to the money. I'll share the least pricey dates and move to the more expensive dates.

$5-10:

1. Getting ice cream. Going to a simple ice cream parlor, like, in my town we have the custard station. You can never go wrong with sweets and who doesn't love a little flirtatious dab of ice cream on the nose?
2. Ice Skating. Depending on where you are, it usually only costs 3-5 dollars a person. Which should be enough for you and your special lady.
3. Date like a hipster! Take her to a cafe and buy coffee for her. It's a good, calm mood usually and you can always get great conversation when in that type of environment.
4. Buy a rose!! Then you can take her on a free date as well or any of the other dates. But a rose is adorable, flowers in general! Sure, they can be cheesy, but I'll let you in on a little secret: girls like cheesy. Chocolates aren't a bad choice either!
5. An outdoor movie. They usually don't cost as much as regular movies, yet they're about ten times more romantic.

$20-50:

1. A movie. It's the classic date for a teenager. You don't have to worry about awkward silence cause you don't have anything to talk about! And when you do, the movie is the topic! Plus, if you two are ready for a good make out session, perfect time! Though... try not to get kicked out ;)
2. A nice dinner at a resturaunt. Pubs are great places cause we love meat and burgers just as much as boys do generally. Though... don't ever go to McDonalds... they'll think you're a cheap ass. Oh, and don't ever go to apple bees either, trust me... it will end badly.
3. Paintball, Lazer guns, and other activities. This isn't for all girls, but for the ones I know, they would die for a date that rides the deffinition of "awesome".
4. Public Attractions such as for here, the Botanical Gardens, Grant's Farm or City Museum. Parks with different activies are great fun too!
5. The pool. We all know you boys love seeing us walking around in a two piece with our curves hangin' out. But we also love seeing what's under that shirt without it being sexual. So boys, if you're going to do this... tone it up so we've got something nice to gawk at ;)
6. Tourist attractions. Though it's odd with a family atmosphere around, it's also very comfortable, and comfort is the priority for dates.

$60-120:

1. Amusement parks are a hit! If you can pay for the chick, then they will, first of all, feel guilty. But don't buy that shit!! They are actually very impressed that you have the devotion to pay for expensive dates. Plus, I know that in my town, Six Flags' Dragon Wing is a great way to have the girl cling for dear life on you!
2. Fancy, elegant resturaunts. All though most of you guys hate dressing up, girls enjoy it. It gives them self confidence in how beautiful they look, and plus, we all know you love seeing us all dolled up.
3. Prom. If there's a prom coming up, it's same as #2, girls like dressing up! Simple as that! But this one is super important that you pay for the prom ticket, cause honestly, if you're going to entirely pay for any date, it would be this one.
4. GoKarts and other racing places. They're usually pretty expensive because they're rare, but we always have fun crashing into your car.
5. Concerts with either a band or a singer. Try to go to one that you both like. Not just her's or your's cause that's no fun!
6. Fairs and Carnivals. Nothing screams adorable than making sure your cart is the one at the top of the ferris wheel at sunset so you can kiss that special someone! Plus... we love our cotton candy and funnel cake! And you can win prizes for the girl!

So there's my ideas of an awesome date! Girls, I encorouge you to message me if you have any more ideas to add to this list. And guys... well... 'nuff said.

Now here are the things that you should never do on a date, boys. And I'm being dead serious on this!! Not only will you lose the girl, but you'll lose respect from your female fans too!

1. Don't EVER let the girl pay. No matter how much you can't afford the prices, it doesn't matter, it's not a date if the girl pays and it'll just piss her off. This is the number one rule.
2. Don't kiss the girl on the first date. And don't stick your tongue down their throat on your first kiss. If you're an aggressive kisser *coughcough*someone I know *coughcough*, then slowly ease her into it one moment to the next. Not all girls like tongue... in fact... most I know are repulsed by the idea of tongue on the first kiss. And they probably will enjoy it after a while.. but it's baby steps if they don't. And you gotta understand that.
3. If you shouldn't give a kiss on the first, then you shouldn't go any farther than a kiss either. Don't try, or you'll end up being castrated by any vixens in the area ;)
4. Boobs. We love ours. You love ours. We all know you do. But we don't enjoy groping unless we're ready for sexual contact. You grope us, it's the equivalent of us groping your balls. It's not a fun idea to us.
5. We love items. Jewelry you can never go wrong with, but seriously... don't ever be cheap about it. We don't think it's funny or cute and we usually have second thoughts about dating you. The cheaper you are (non-thoughtful, un-romantic, and ignorant), the more we will distance ourselves from you.
6. When you're on your date... SPEND TIME with your date!!! Too many times I see an unexperienced guy refusing to hold the girls hand when on a date or simply disregarding her to go do something more fun. Sure, it may be more fun for you, but the girl is left behind asking herself what she did wrong.
7. Double dates I gotta say are better than one-on-one dates. Esspecially if you know the person who's the same gender as you. So you have the comfortable environment of being with your friends, yet you can be flirty and cutesy with your special someone! Plus, there isn't any awkward silence if you can't think of any conversation material.

And that's all the advice I can give you today I think! Lol, again girls, don't be afraid to message me for any more ideas, I'm all ears! :)